Break the Loop
by JamulRose
Summary: How Simon and Alisha's story should have ended... Simon POV


When the light in her eyes went out I knew that it was time- time to become the person she knew. The Simon of the past who would die for her so that we could fall in love all over again.

I knew she did not want me to go back. It wasn't until we buried her that I could understand why. If I went back, I would die in her arms just like she had died in mine. The pain I felt as she slipped into death was so raw it was as if a part of me had died with her.

But I had to. I had to go back or else our love would never have existed. And that loss was inconceivable to me. I knew what the others were thinking. That Alisha and I would forever be in a loop. But at least our love would never die.

There was a chill wind outside the community center as I spoke with Kelly and Seth about my plans to return to the past. When I asked Seth for the power of immunity he looked apprehensive and told me to visit him in the past. As Kelly walked away, he took my arm and held me back. "There is one more thing you need to know." He said.

…

When I first stepped into the past I could feel it-a faint vibration that reminded me that I was outside of my own time. At first, it was unsettling, but in the weeks to come, I began to welcome it as proof that I had become who I was meant to be.

When I first saw her again, it took everything I had not to run to her. To smell her hair and kiss her lips. Like a delicate flower I admired her from afar for fear that if I touched her she would fall apart. But when she fell down the stairs and I saw the red of the cut on her forehead, the memories of her in my arms came rushing back.

In a panic I lifted her into my arms and brought her to my loft. I was petrified that she would die in my arms again.

The next few weeks were a painful heaven. To see her, smell her, touch her—it was overwhelming. I wanted to live in each moment and never have it end. But to know what was to come next was almost unbearable. I was going to die in her arms and cause her the same pain that I still felt. I hated myself for being so selfish, and yet, from the moment I touched her hand in the hallway I knew I would not be able to stop.

As the bullet collided into my chest I felt a rush of sadness and euphoria. I knew I was hurting her, but I also knew that by dying I was giving myself the chance to love her. The physical pain was unbearable and it took everything I had to tell her to burn my body after I died. I died looking up into her eyes. As my heart stopped the last sensation I had was her hand stroking my cheek. As I drifted into the abyss I heard her tell me she loved me and if I could I would have smiled.

…

PAIN.

Searing pain all over my body. I jerked forward and my eyes flew open but then the white hot pain became over whelming and I tumbled back to the ground.

My lungs were on fire. My skin felt like it had been striped off of me. I forced my eyes back open in time to see a person walking away from me. On the verge of unconsciousness I let out a moan of what felt like fire and raised my arm towards the person begging them to come back. What I saw was horrifying. The skin on my arm looked like it was dripping. Burned black in areas and oozing blood in others.

The fire. Oh god. The fire.

I tumbled back into the abyss.

…

I gasped for air as I came back to the living. I was disoriented and dizzy but the pain was dull now. As I caught my breath I pulled my hand up to my face examining it with a frenzy. The skin was still red, but it was in tack. I closed my eyes in deep relief and clutched my hand to my face. I looked down at my chest and pulled away the remaining parts of armor to reveal the bullet wound was nearly healed as well.

Breathing heavily, I pulled myself into a sitting position and then slowly a standing position. I glanced down at the fire extinguisher by my feet. A bag I recognized from my loft was laying next to it. When I opened it I found a change of clothes and a note. It read, "Bring $100,000."

Taking a deep breath, I knew what I needed to do.

…

When I arrived in the community center, the vibration was different. A little disoriented, I narrowly missed having Nathan run into me as he turned the corner. I hid behind the lockers as the others confronted the false Jesus. When they went into the meeting space to be with Marnie when she had her baby, I carefully plucked $100,000 from the locker and stuffed it in the gym bag.

…

A different vibration took me to Seth's office. He looked at me with a raised eye brow as I made my request. "I don't give powers to people without them knowing." He said.

"Please," I said, "She can't know that she has immortality or else it will change the future. And the past me cannot know either. Not until after she dies. It would change everything."

Seth leaned forward against his desk. "This is an unusual request. I'm not sure $100,000 would cover it."

I smiled, "Alisha will not ask for any money for you to take her powers. And Nathan—the one with the immortality—you can negotiate him down to two grand."

Seth looked at me pointedly, "What would prevent me from just taking the money and not giving her the powers."

I took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye, "I know you lost someone you loved and you will do anything to bring her back." He looked startled. "And one day, you will get your chance to bring Shannon back, for better or for worse. This is my chance to being my love back. I know you can understand that."

Seth sat back in his chair clearly troubled by the mention of Shannon's name. I heard a knock at the door and I knew it would be Alisha here to have her powers taken.

"Please. This is the only way to save her."

…

With a shift I was back in my own time and the vibration was gone. I was at her grave site, still fresh from being dug. I could hear the others walking away in the distance. They had just left after her quiet funeral.

With a hurried frenzy I began digging. When her beautiful, ashen face finally appeared beneath the dirt my heart skipped a beat. What if Seth had not gone through with his promise? What if she was not immortal and would stay dead?

With a shaking breath I pulled her from her grave and laid her gently on the ground. I cradled her head in my arms as I gently brushed the remnants of dirt from her cold cheeks. I placed a soft kiss on her lips as I relived the horrible memory of watching her slip away into death.

And then I waited. I waited for several hours anxiously watching guard for any sign of life.

And then suddenly a breath-Did I imagine it?

With a sudden shutter she gasped. Her eyes flew open and she jerked forward slightly as she tried to orient herself.

I sobbed. All the emotion over the last few weeks poured out in that sob. My love. She was alive. **_We_** were alive.

"S—Simon?" She stuttered, her eyes wide with questions, "What happened? Where are we?"

I leaned in and kissed her with everything I had. "I love you." I whispered with conviction.

She looked up at me with the light in her eye that I had missed so much. "I love you too." She said.

Then I explained everything. How Seth had told me that I had come and seen him in the past. That I had asked him to give my past self Nathan's power of immortality so that when I went back to the past and died I would survive. After I came back from the dead, I gave my power back to Seth and he gave it to Alisha so that when she died she would come back also.

"I can't believe this is real. I can't believe you are alive." She said with tears in her eyes. "I set your body on fire Simon. Even with immortality, how did you survive that? There would have been nothing left!"

I could not hide my grimace, "I know," I said, "I'm sorry. I couldn't have you bury me. I would never have been able to get out of my grave. I needed you to think you burned my body. I went back in time and extinguished myself before I burned completely."

"Simon, why didn't you tell me!"

The guilt was unbearable. I had put her through the pain of losing someone she loved. And I, of all people, knew how painful that was. "I'm sorry Alisha. But I couldn't tell you. If I had told you, then history would have changed and I may not have become the person I needed to be."

She looked at me with understanding. "What do we do now?" She asked.

"Seth won't tell anyone. No one needs to knows we are alive. We can go as far away from this town and the storm as we can. This is our chance to be a normal couple—just like you always wanted."

She raised her hand to my face, "After everything we've been through, we can never be a normal couple." She said.

I kissed her gently on her lips. "Maybe… but we could be close."


End file.
